A lesson from a water bottle hoarder...

I cleaned out my "tupperware" cabinet a few weeks ago. I feel its important to note I don't actually own a single piece of brand named tupperware, it is all cheap plastic containers we put leftovers in. I am also not sure what I did classified as cleaning out. Basically what happened was the tower of unmatched bowls and lids fell into the floor for the millionth time and I decided to quickly toss out a few pieces, take a few to my mom, and stack the others back in as neatly as possible.

What I discovered in the back of the cabinet was 8 different reusable water bottles. EIGHT.  Some with squirt tops, some with straws, and even a cute, fancy Tervis with a clip. I pulled them all out and thought well that is a bit excessive. I can vividly remember purchasing or being gifted each one and EVERY SINGLE TIME thinking, "oh this will help me drink more water".

Well guess what...

I still don't drink much water.

It may have helped for a week or so, but once the new wore off, I was back to my old habits.

The thing is the problem isn't in the water bottle.

The problem is in me.

I don't hate water, but I don't love it.

Mostly I don't want water.

I want a cherry Dr. Pepper, sweet tea, or coffee.



I have had at least 4 separate conversations with 4 very different people over the past several months, but the content was very much the same. They all expressed in some way, how they were having trouble focusing and getting the important things done.

What struck me as interesting is all of these people had something to blame for their lack of focus. Its possible social media or their new love of Downton Abbey(okay, so no one has actually mentioned giving up Downton, pending no one else dies) is in part to blame for the struggle.

 Let me preface this next paragraph by saying, I always think there is benefit in stepping back from things that we fill our time with to refocus. I think it is necessary, important, and biblical. 

However, what concerns me is that we tend to have a really hard time owning our failures. It is easier to blame something or someone else for our problems. It is easy to blame the tiny humans for my messy home. It is easy to blame my DVR for my lack of time in the word. It is easy to blame being tired for forgetting to pray. It is easy to blame the water bottle for the lack of water intake.

When the real problem is in me, in us.  I just don't want to do this.

I want to watch Downton Abbey... or read Divergent... or take a nap... or fill in the blank...

When we take on Christ in baptism and commit to following Him, we essentially give up our life and entrust it to God.

We are committing to changing our desires to God's desires. 

And guess what...

Its no longer about me.

Its no longer about what I want.

Its about what God wants.

And God wants my life.

ALL OF IT.

So maybe instead of blaming and running away from all the distractions in our life, we give them to God and allow him to transform them into avenues for his work to be done. 

Maybe we use the internet as a tool to strengthen our bible study, maybe we use our Facebook to tell 500+ people in one second how God has rescued us and he can rescue them, maybe we use our radio to worship our Father and teach our children of His greatness while driving, or maybe we use the baseball field to love the unloved.

And then if you can't give it God, you prayerfully consider purging it from your life.

What is God asking you to hand over or purge? 

A Lesson from my Children...

A little over 5 years ago, Caleb and I jumped in head first to this thing called parenting. I think it is safe to say we had absolutely no idea how much that a tiny human would change our world. We were warned about the sleepless nights, change in priorities, and miracle of it all, so there was a sense of change well before we ever experienced it. However, no one ever said this child will teach you more than you could ever dream of teaching him. 

It's no secret Jesus spent much time with and used children in his teachings. I tend to believe the reason, in part, being that children have an amazing ability to use their simple innocence as a great ministry. Children don't typically have an agenda or biases. They just have simplistic innocence. They are pure, honest, and open.

Last night, I was over being Mommy for the day. It was still an hour or two before Caleb would walk in and save the day. As a result, I did what any tired, American, good mom would do, I sent them to Brady's room to watch a movie and then told them to not come out until they heard their daddy come home. Parenting at its finest. I should probably have a trophy for best mom ever. 

Imagine my distraught, when they didn't stay in his room at all, but came parading into my space.  

The two of them stood before me, each grasping a canister in their hands. A canister that they had picked up at church. These particular canisters are to collect money for a nearby orphanage. 

Brady quickly asked, "would it be okay if we emptied our piggy banks into these?" 

I nodded, a little in shock of the question being presented to me, when I so clearly was done being a good influence for the night. The two scurried off and began to line up every piggy bank in the house. Together they emptied each one into the two canisters before them. Brady gently expressed to Presley, "that isn't money, baby, the children need money. They don't have mommies or daddies."

I sat on my couch watching and praying with tear filled eyes. 

Quickly before putting everything away, Brady ran in and declared, "I found a dollar, can I put it with the money for the children that don't have mommies and daddies, too?"

They each returned their canisters to me much heavier with big grins on their faces. 

In an effort of full disclosure, about a year and half ago, Caleb and I spent some time collecting money and teaching Brady about orphans. We filled and returned a couple canisters and went on with life. 

I noticed a few weeks ago, the empty canisters had returned to the church lobby. In all honesty, I secretly hoped Brady wouldn't see them and avoided walking near them at all cost.

I want to help orphans, really, I do. But I did not want the hassle of making sure it was full and remembering to return it to the church building. 

After all, we had already filled and returned two. We sponser a child overseas monthly. We wear friends adoption fundraiser shirts proudly. We have devotionals explaining how not everyone is blessed with one or both parents. 

We are done with that service and teaching, right?

This is the amazing thing about this situation.

Caleb and I had a goal to soften our children's hearts to those who aren't blessed with parents. We were intentional and focused on this goal for a while. We eventually got to a point were we felt it was complete and we stopped teaching intentionally on this specific issue. 

But Brady hadn't stopped learning. 

He understood much more clearly than even I did. 

We are never done. Walking in the light is continuous. Forever.

Once one can is full, we move to fill the next. 

When he spotted those canisters in the lobby, he remembered their importance. He remembered the meaning. He remembered the call to action and obedience. 

He stuffed, not one, but two empty canisters into our bag, despite my attempt to return them. He wanted to share with his younger sister this need. He wanted to teach her about orphans and encourage her to act in love as well. 

So as I retired to my couch last night drained from the obligations of life, God presented me with an example of discipleship in its simplest form right in my living room. 

I have been so vividly reminded that my walk with Jesus is just beginning. It is continuous. It is important. It calls me to action and obedience. I still have so much to learn. 

Thank you Lord for my children. Thank you for their innocence. Thank you for opening my eyes and heart to see you through them. 

Then he said, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. 
Matthew 18:3, new living translation

One Word Resolution

New Years Resolutions aren't really my thing. I am, however, a big fan of small goals throughout the year. I like focus. I like having something to work towards. I like the accomplished feeling when one of those goals are met. 

I have a running list of goals at any given time. 

We recently spent some time at a couples retreat. We were asked to pair off with our spouse and write out 6 goals for 6 different categories. I am not the best at math, but that is 36 goals, y'all!

I rattled off about 20 goals in about 5 minutes as Caleb struggled to come up with one for each category. So, I don't really need the new year to make me sit down and come up with a resolution. 

However, I am loving the idea of the One Word Resolutions. I mean one word that will carry you through 2014 and inspire you throughout. Count me in. 

I have had the hardest time nailing down ONE word for the entire year, though. 

Immediately at least 100 words scroll through my mind. 

Bold, obedient, faithful, servant, share, prayer, prioritize, search, see, go, goodness, kind, love, follow, humility, hope, desire, present, intentional, submit 

I have so many areas in my life that need improvement, that I have trouble narrowing down one area I need to focus on this year. 

But if I am completely honest, God has been whispering one word to me over and over for a while now. Not literally whispering, but turning my attention to one word repeatedly. My friend alludes to it when she persuades me to write. A sweet lady at church speaks it when she gently encourages me to teach more classes. My husband begs for me to hear it when he says everything will be fine. My children yearn for it when they see the doubt in my eyes. The scriptures scream it at me when I study them. 

The word floats around in my mind constantly as I struggle to stuff it into a deep corner and forget it. 

So my word for 2014 is TRUST.  

Trust that God is who He says He is. 

Trust that God will do what He says He will do.

Trust in my marriage.

Trust in God to take hold of my fears and alleviate them as submit myself to complete obedience.

Trust that I am worthy.

Trust God will provide. 

Trust that God can use me.

Trust when my baby boy walks into his kindergarten classroom alone, that he isn't really alone.

Trust as I enter the land of the 30's. 

TRUST.

Throughout this year, I may face ridicule. I may face struggles. I may face heartbreak. I may be disappointed. It may be our best year yet.

2014 may fail me.  I am choosing to trust with my whole heart, despite my independent spirit, no matter what comes, that God will not. 

Welcome.

Welcome to my new space.

I hope to use this space to write and hopefully share my thoughts and ideas in a way that uplifts and encourages and maybe even makes you laugh. You see, I have a lot of thoughts and ideas. I have a lot of opinions. My brain NEVER stops. This is why I watch shows like the Bachelor, it requires no thinking of any kind. It is completely mindless. Sometimes I need something mindless.

BUT I am a nothing spectacular. Our life is fairly uneventful. Our home is small. Our street quiet.  I am not a theologian. I only speak one language. I am young. I have only lived in one state and 3 cities. I have traveled, but not excessively. I haven't started a non profit organization or saved the world. I don't have all the answers. I am learning, growing, and changing. I hope I always am.

  I am nothing spectacular.

 I am a sinner struggling to overcome a multitude of sins every day that stand in the way of reaching the full potential God has for me.

Fortunately for me (and you), my God is spectacular and he chose me (and you). He is fully capable of using an ordinary wife and mommy for his glory. He is fully capable of turning nothing into something.  He is able to transform my nothing into something spectacular.

God is capable.

My hope is that the words in this space point you to God. I pray that God can use this space to be his voice.  I will try to get out of the way.

As we jump into 2014 full force, I pray that God can open our eyes and hearts while we embark on this journey together.

Thank you for joining me.